Bizarre Compliments

There is nothing like getting told that you look good, you've been working out and it shows, or just whatever is told to you that makes you feel all warm and toasty inside.

But the other day I was with some friends and one of them told me about a compliment that I thought was sort of backhanded. What I mean by that is its a compliment on one hand but it has some negativity on the other side. With that being said I when into facebook and starting looking for some that was posted on a page. Here are some of the most oddest "backhanded compliments" I have ever hear.

I am 6 months pregnant- a woman stopped me and said "oh hunny your so tiny, when are you due" I said December and she says "oh you have a long way to go you will get fat"

Sitting in the corner of town center mall food court (10yrs ago) I had finished nursing my newborn son. I noticed a women staring at me. She walks over and says, "he's beautiful! Is he yours? He doesn't resemble you too much" I informed her that I was the Town Center wet nurse and random people use my services when shopping prevents them from breast feeding their babies.

I was about 16 and working at the Rapids Water Park. One day a very large man walked up and said, "Ay girll yous got some nice teef"

I have dwarfism and I had a random stranger come up to me and say. "God bless you. You are a reminder that life could be worse. I could be a midget."

I was at my sons football game and a dad on our same team came up to me and said "gee your son is really good" of course I say thank you. He then says he's a big boy. Then the guys says lol..it must of helped for him to have a big mom like you 

I'm "KFC" finger lickin' good

My obgyn, he said i had nice looking u know what

I was walking into the circkle k gas station with my son when this guy opened the door for us then said "you know you want my child support check too"

 I love the peach fuzz on your face

That I resemble Casey Anthony

On my first OB visit for being pregnant my Dr says "well I hope your breastfeeding so ur baby will NEVER go hungry.."

Someone at a grocery store said" I couldn't help notice how beautiful u are.... I love your cellulite

Unemployment is so Annoying

Well, like I promised, going to talk about being unemployed.

Its been a little over a month in a half since my boss told me I have been released by the company and will not have my contract renewed. Since then I have (or I should say my wife) spent over 2 to 3 hours A DAY, looking for jobs. The problem is that not that there aren't any. Believe me, when we go onto jobnet.dk  there are a shit load of jobs. Whats annoying is that we have sent in over 10 application (give or take) a week. Now the american in me feels very stupid. I should be the type that is able to land a job with their eyes closed, but yet when I have to wait 3½weeks for these people (and that is definitlty not the term I use) to write a email back and say "oh we have over 200 other applicants and we are sorry to say that it is not you but what we will do is keep you things on file.." it gets REALLY annoying. So what am I applying for you might ask,

• Storage
• productions (factories)
• Customer Service (not the best but its there)
• hospital (nothing surgery)
• admin/IT (cause I am really good with computers. Just not Networking/coding)
• secretary
• international
• janitorial (the high class low)

and many others that if I looked into our mailbox right now you would see so many applications and CV's I have sent and some I haven't even heard word back from them.

So this has prompt me to become a little bit worried. I really don't want to lose our car and bank loans. But the way things are starting to spiral downward right now I am not even looking forward to my own 32 birthday. Why? because the gift(s) that I want would cost money that we don't have. Whats even worst is the thought of our kid being taking out of daycare because we cant cover the cost to have her in there. And that would me I would have to sit and watch her (the baby) while mommie goes to work and you already know my torerance is not up to that level just yet.

When the Kid is sick...

OK OK!! I know NONE of you have been wondering where the Favorite vlogger guy went to? Sorry that I have been non-existent on here. For those of you that are parents will understand this. The past month my little girl (or as I call her "monkey") has been sick. First it started with just a mild cold which child are prone to getting when they go to a daycare. But it was really odd has fast it hit her. (which leave me to think just what the hell are they doing at the daycare? Watching the kids lick one another?)  After about 3 days that broke and she was fine. Or so we thought. A few days after she began coughing really bad when she was sleeping. My wife and I started to give her water to drink at nights and thought that would help. But before you know it her nose began to run again with snot, and just this past weekend she had (what I thought was pink eye) some type of infection that came out of her eyes. (some yellowish stuff) It was so bad that at night when she slept or napped and awoke from it her eyes would be totally covered like a scab when you fall. Again, I am a new parent and these sorts of things have a impact on me. I want my little girl to feel better, not get worse. Its hard for me to be happy and get her mind off of it when she looks like a zombie. So this past week I have been in a "bad daddy" mode to the point I was about to shoot the next person that came up with some stupid remedy to cure her. (only replying this to a family member that side use saltwater to get rid of the infection in her eyes. and yes I am aware that does work but what about the COLD ITSELF!!) But all hope was saved and I didn't have to go hulking rage mode, because we went to the doctor yesterday and she knew right away what it was. (Some type of weird named virus) So of course she wrote a script for Jas and we picked it up just moments after leaving the doctor. Right away I could tell this stuff was working because she had a nap and I had just come back from driving into another city looking for a job (OH YEAH, that's going to be the next blog. There is some much bullshit that I am getting back from sending job applications) and the first thing I had noticed was that her eyes were not producing that yellow crap. (plus the fact that it smelled like cherries and daddy loves cherries) The only bad thing I will say about it is that I think it is laced with sugar because it kept her up for an hour past her normal bedtime, as she wanted to have a life long talk with her mother.

Today I am happy and back to my normal self along side with my little monkey. (whom I am sitting and watching her play right now on the floor) I can see she is back to her happy baby self and all is well. (except for the cough her or there) now the only thing is to get her focused on crawling forward and not backwards! :o)

You know my child?

Lately, besides worrying about trying to find a job to keep my family out of debt or have my wife work crazy hours to keep us in the green, I have had to worry about other people trying my nerves about my kid.

Take for example, at this moment I am some where else and my little mama just got done eating half of her dinner and a bottle. So it goes to let her be along with her toys on the floor for a while and try not to shake her up because she will instantly bring it back up and we all know that when it comes back up its a bitch to clean up off them and the floor or where ever they are at.

So in the meantime, someone picks her up and begins "playing" superhero and turning her in the air. Of course I know that they are just trying to have fun with her and all but earlier they came in being all loud while my wife was trying to put her to sleep. Coming home from a long day of work is one thing but when you come home and your being all loud (when you know at the time your coming home is the time the child is trying to sleep)

So, it comes with the territory when I am annoyed when people just don't wanna hear what your (in this case  me) trying to tell them and that they think that they have all the knowledge in the world when it comes to something that they have no clue about. am I wrong for a having this thought process when it comes to something I have been in contact with all majority of its life? Help me out here? Would Like to know your thoughts. Leave the comments below on the page or leave on the facebook fan page as well.

I am doing Twitter Wrong?

In today's social media, there is so much going on it could pass you by if your not up to speed with the way it works.  I was the type that though "I will never have a MySpace account. Because of the weirdos and wacks that try to snatch you up off the internet or hack into your personal information because your putting it out there to be seen" and I stood strongly by that. Then I met my wife who had one but wasn't into it much. Not long before that came facebook. Now again I stood strong footed but after a while got sucked into. (and not by Farmville. Wasn't even around at that time) Not the reason I gave into facebook was because I was leaving for another land. Leaving all my friends and family behind and needed some way to keep in contact with them.

That was 2007. Fast foward 5 years now. I have a Twitter, Blogger, HootSuit, FourSquare, Socialcam, Youtube, Instagram, and Tumblr. And out of all of those, twitter is the one I can't seem to understand.I send out all these tweets (and yes I use hashtags and all that other stuff when sending) but I very rarely get any response back. I do have some followers (if any real then the rest are all bots) and then there are some that I follow. (like NFL,ESPN,Basketball, Gamer, the usual man stuff....yes that involves some adult stuff too. Don't judge me) But, now I am starting to notice, some of my followers get their tweets retweeted by "Nancy-nobodies" and others get responses and likes. So my question is, HOW DOES THIS WORK!?! do I have to tweet a picture of my manhood (like Kanye) or what?

While we are on the topic of Social Media, all those that I have mentioned above I am apart of and would like if you would follow. Not to make my head big or anything. I would like to know my audiance and what they like/dislike from what I am doing. Many of them are in the links to the right of this, but others I have not posted so much and I am sorry for that. So here they all are for you enjoyment.

Twitter: Twitter.com/DesACollins
HootSuit
FourSquare: Des Collins
Socialcam: Des Collins
Instagram: des_ac
Tumblr: des_ac

and now that I think about it there is a little bonus I would like to present to you all. Since I spend about 75% of my time bullshitting on my Iphone, I would like to ask if you would add me your list on Game Center if you have it. I am ~Des 99~ Thanks alot!

Big guy with a Big Heart Gone

If you didn't already hear the news, a great actor left us yesterday. Michael Clarke Duncan past away yesterday after a a few weeks ago he suffered a heart attack and was being treated at a hospital.

For those of you that don't know him he played Oscar like roles in great films like "the Green Mile" and "Armageddon"

I personally liked this guy. No matter any situation he was always able to be the big man with the big smile. He was always making you laugh or cry (pending on the movie he played in and his role) but what was stunning most of of is how he could transform that role into his own.

Born in Chicago in 1957, Duncan was raised by a single mother whose resistance to his playing football led to his deciding he wanted to become an actor. But when his mother became ill, he dropped out of college, Alcorn State University, and worked as a ditch digger and bouncer to support her. By his mid-20s, he was in Los Angeles, where he looked for acting parts and became a bodyguard for Will Smith, Jamie Foxx and other stars. The murder of rapper Notorious B.I.G., for whom Duncan had been hired to protect before switching assignments, led him to quit his job and pursue acting full-time.

How do you remember MCD? Was there a t.v. shows that he played in that you remember or was it all films? Leave your comments below!

So long big guy! Hope you smiling down upon us on the way to the pearly gates!

~YFV

The Week Ahead of Me

Well as many of you know, this past Thursday, I got laid offed from my job. I am not to pleased about it. But I am aware that there is nothing I can really do. Today was probably the first day I smiled about anything in a long time since the news.

Now, I look forward just to hear back from people that are looking for employees to work. And let me tell you its not as easy as it sounds. But I am putting all my efforts and talents into finding something as soon as possible but I am aware (again) that its not just going to fall into may lap.

For those of you that are wondering about me continuing to "Google Hangout Streams" yes I will continue to do them. But please take not it will only be AFTER my kid is asleep and it will be on a microphone to keep her from waking it. (Her bedroom is right next to our living room)

But enough of the boring shit that you already know about. I will inform you that I have been involved in a new game app on my Iphone called "Mindfued" Just like wordfued but only with monkeys and different shapes and colors. Something I can not explain but its pretty neat. So if you fancy a game please feel free to send me an invite. (Des_1999)

Another thing I have to look forward to, is that tomorrow I go into surgery. Nothing fancy it just for my toenails  Now I know it sounds like nothing but best believe I have my toenails removed in the past and it sort of hurts. But this time around I am getting both of them taken off an hopefully they will not return so jacked up and painful like before. If your one of those types that Like to see gross stuff on youtube, (and be honest, we all have look or searched for "biggest zit" or "boil" removed on their) you can feel free to watch on old vid I took when it got done a few years ago.

On top of that my kiddo starts her first swimming lesson and then her first day of daycare on Tuesday. So i guess its not all that bad huh?!